Getting what you need in a relationship

Abusers typically are not able or willing to admit that their behavior is abusive, so confronting an abuser can actually put you in more danger. Please know that a person is not guaranteed to get what they want every time they ask for it, no matter how good their communication skills, because people still have, and deserve, free will. Remember that open communication does not mean no filter! In order to be healthy, communication must be respectful. Remind them of positive outcomes, and be careful not to offer rewards that are unrealistic. Avoid pressuring, guilting, threatening, or using any coercive tactics, such as ultimatums.

Your needs are constantly changing and evolving, particularly over the course of a relationship. In order for it to last, you need to have a partner who is willing to respond to the changes, to be able to identify what those changing needs are, and also to be able to meet and provide your partner with what they ask for. Serious conversations probably shouldn't start over text message, but it's also the primary mode for most people to make plans. When you get in the habit of regularly communicating what you need in a relationship, then you might not even feel the need to set aside time for a large, serious talk. Viewing the relationship as an ongoing and evolving process means that you can have these talks in little pieces, rather than getting everyone worked up for a serious and possibly difficult conversation.

There is something you can do to guarantee that you will start getting what you want in your relationships. And it's probably not what you think. No, it's not by getting him to commit or by getting a guarantee from her. You've tried all those things--they don't work. But there's something else you can do, something that you probably haven't thought of.

No one wants to be called needy. You can need more attention. You can need better sex. Yes, some of us desire daily love notes, weekly peonies, and the perfect surprise-birthday extravaganza attended on time by all of our closest friends.